Over xmas break, my mom told me she was supporting Hillary Clinton. I kind of made a face and briefly explained why I wasn’t backing her, though I would be perfectly happy if she was elected president. (That’s the great thing about this election if you’re a democrat — it’s more of a contest to figure out which candidate we like the best, where republicans are trying to figure out which of their candidate they hate the least.)
While I’m not endorsing her, Hillary’s “moment” this week when she teared up while talking about why she wants to be president made me like her a lot more. It also helped me understand why so many women, especially women like my mom who are close in age to Hillary, support her.
When Hillary teared up, I saw someone that I almost never see when I look at her — a mom.
I think that moms know a sense of love and responsibility that anyone who is not a mom will never fully understand. Dads and others can feel a version of it, but it’s not the same as the connection they’d feel if they actually lived with a baby inside them for nine months, then pushed it out of their bodies in the most excruciating way imaginable. Moms know with nothing less than 100% certainty that their babies are theirs, and the bond and responsibility that comes with that is one of the most powerful forces in nature.
When Hillary got emotional talking about her hopes, fears, dreams, and responsibilities for this country, I felt a mother’s hopes, fears, dreams, and responsibilities for her child.
Because despite what you hear from republicans, our country is not an infallible God-like parent who can do no wrong, is above reproach, and should be violently defended against anyone suggesting otherwise under any circumstances. Repubs think that anyone who criticizes America or its government must hate America, just as they’ve convinced themselves that anyone who opposes the Iraq occupation must hate soldiers. This is an infantile way of looking at the world, like a baby who can only conclude that someone who doesn’t like mommy must be the worst, most evil person in the world since to a baby, mommy is the world, the stars, and God rolled into one. Many republicans worship America in the same way.
We are not the children of our country — the country is the child of its citizens, and we are all responsible for its upbringing. In a democracy, the citizens shape the country and what it stands for, not the other way around. The physical United States doesn’t care if the people living on it are a democracy, dictatorship, or live in anarchy — but its citizens do.
When a mother scolds her child for hitting someone or talking back or stealing, it’s not because she hates her child — it’s because she wants to make her child better. Encouraging and supporting a child’s every action, regardless of whether it’s good or bad, does the child no favors at all. The result is a spoiled child who does whatever she wants, regardless of its effects on others. There’s a term for a parent who fails to correct his/her child’s bad behavior — a bad parent. The same goes for a citizen in a democracy who refuses to criticize her country’s faults. If faults aren’t recognized, they can’t be corrected. It is the job of the citizens to recognize and correct these problems — the “country” won’t magically do it on its own with magical goodness and justice that bubbles up from the soil.
When Hillary teared up saying she didn’t want to see the country regress further, I saw the sadness of a mother who has been sidelined, forced to stand by and watch as her child became a cruel, ignorant, selfish bully who takes advice from all the wrong people and is unwittingly destroying his chances for the future. But like a true mom, she would never and could never lose hope that she could turn her kid around. She was not going to give up, no matter how many people come out of the woodwork to write her off.
It’s been embarrassing to me to watch the “analysis” of Hillary’s “moment”. The reaction from the right and the corporate media was sadly predictable — Hillary’s tears were either proof of cold-hearted political calculus (not to mention considerable acting skill) or proof that she and all women lack the fortitude and emotional stability to be president. What day is it? Where the hell are we? Are Americans in the 21st century actually debating whether women should be in powerful leadership positions? The people of freaking PAKISTAN were able to elect Benazir Bhutto TWICE! We might as well be asking whether women have the emotional stability and intellect to drive and vote. If you think women are incapable of being good leaders, you better not say that to my mom’s face. You probably shouldn’t say that to your mom’s face, either, unless you’re confident that your mom has been thoroughly brainwashed by millennia of sexist, patriarchal, and religious propaganda to believe in the inherent weakness of her own gender.
When Hillary teared up, I didn’t see weakness. I saw the effects of stress and exhaustion, as well as appreciation that someone, finally, seemed to give a damn about how she was doing and recognized the monumental task she had undertaken. I saw a mom finally getting the recognition she deserves for being a mom, which is truly one of the hardest jobs in the world.
In contrast, watching Rep. John Boehner (R-OH) cry on the floor of the House made me angry because of its sheer hypocrisy and dishonesty. He was crying about his obligation to protect America from “terrorists” by keeping Americans in Iraq forever, purposefully blurring the lines between the people who attacked on 9/11 and the Iraqis fighting America’s occupying army in Iraq. I felt nothing but distaste watching George W Bush crying as he watched a parade honoring Iraq’s fallen soldiers, because it was his lies that got them killed, and he has made it his goal in life to ensure that US soldiers continue to get killed in Iraq for his lies.
When Bush was asked about the case in Saudi Arabia where a young woman was being punished because she had left the house without a male family member and was subsequently gang raped, he said:
My first thoughts were these. What happens if this happened to my daughter? How would I react? And I would have been — I would have been — I’d had — I would have been very emotional, of course. I’d have been angry at those who committed the crime. And I would be angry at the state that didn’t support the victim.But then Bush apparently forgot about his daughter because he couldn’t even remember if he mentioned the case when he spoke to Saudi Arabia’s King Abdullah.
I think it would be great to have a mother as the president of the United States. I would love to have the values instilled in me by my mom — fairness, empathy, kindness, shared responsibility, non-violent conflict resolution, self worth, generosity, respect for education — as guiding principles for this country. Wouldn’t you? And that’s not to say that my mom is some softy — she has almost superhuman logistical skills, a powerful and curious intellect, is an expert on finances, has a sharp scientific mind, and excellent leadership ability combined with terrific people skills. My mom can do it all. I imagine yours can, too.
Good luck, Hillary. Show ‘em what you got.
It's simple, anybody that votes for Hillary is dumb, the Bush/Clinton Family has been in office for 20 years, now you want to give them, at least, another 4!.... something is wrong with you.... you're treating them like Royalty..... bloodlines.... don't get me started!