Last Thursday found me waiting in giddy anticipation for Bill O’Reilly’s “big announcement” about homeless veterans that he had been teasing for weeks. In a previous post, I had guessed that BOR would announce the creation of a charitable fund to help homeless vets or his support for legislation that would provide better services for homeless vets, especially those suffering from mental illness or addiction.

After all, BOR had magnanimously announced that he would help any homeless vet that was brought to his attention (after previously denying that homeless vets existed at all) and had loudly proclaimed that homelessness among vets is exclusively caused by addiction and mental illness (though those are really symptoms of a system that is doing a poor job of helping soldiers re-integrate back into society). As I said, I’ve gotten pretty good at guessing what BOR will do next — the only times I get it wrong is when I optimistically think that BOR will display some sort of decency, humility, or honesty. I guess that’s what I did, since, sadly, I was mostly wrong on this one.

BOR’s “big announcement” to help homeless veterans? BOR will “monitor” the creation of a new GI bill (which is yet to be drafted) to see if the federal government will someday help homeless vets by expanding every benefit offered to every vet and their families. That is, if this non-existent GI bill passes, which may take years and will constitute a complete overhaul of the GI bill — if it happens at all. BOR promised to have Peter King (R-NY) and/or John Kerry (D-MA) on his show once a month to check the progress and said he would harass any congressmen who objected to this new GI bill. Which does not yet exist.

That’s it. That was the “big announcement”. The word “homeless” was not mentioned once.

I guess we should all be happy that five years into a war that BOR vociferously championed while repeatedly calling for US soldiers to be on extended and repeated deployments without enough down time, training or the right equipment, BOR has finally realized that those soldiers have been getting the shaft. I suppose that he’s also realized that homeless vets might actually exist, that there truly are too many of them, and that maybe, just maybe, homeless vets aren’t solely to blame for being homeless. BOR deserves a cookie! Just like Bush did when he finally realized that Iraq didn’t have WMD; then finally realized that Iraq had no ties with Al-Qaeda; then finally realized that Iraq was experiencing an insurgency; then finally realized that Iraq was experiencing a civil war; then finally realized that maybe the US wasn’t making as much progress in Iraq as he said we were; then finally realized that Rumsfeld was doing a horrible job; then finally realized that hurricane Katrina had destroyed New Orleans; then finally realized that climate change was happening; then finally realized that the US economy was heading towards a recession. Of course, practically everyone in the country and world knew these things several months before Bush did, but what do you expect from people like Bush and BOR who are completely cut off from reality? If you had no idea what the hell was going on and constructed your reality based solely on materials extracted from your ass, you’d probably be pretty slow, too.

Now don’t get me wrong — overhauling the GI bill is way overdue, and it’s good that someone with a large audience is drawing attention to that. But this overhauled GI bill hasn’t even been drafted yet. I’m no expert on the passing of legislation, but it seems like that can take a really long time (unless you’re republicans trying to keep Terri Schiavo alive). Rep. King said that they might have a draft of this new GI bill done by the end of the month. This draft would still have to make its way through House and Senate committees, where there will be amendments, subtractions, pork added, deals brokered, squabbles, etc. Plus, this new GI bill would certainly be massive, expensive and would require major overhauls of the entire VA system and budget. That’s bound to raise some hackles, especially with such a divided congress, a lame duck president, an election, and massive deficits. Then you have to get the bill to a vote, which can take a very long time.

Since Bush and the republicans are posturing so much on being “fiscally conservative” and supporting “small government”, they may not be too excited about signing on to a massive expansion of government spending and services, even if it’s for soldiers — especially since republicans have been so willing to screw soldiers in the past. I’m sure the Bush administration would rather just punt on this so the next president, most likely a democrat, will have to deal with all the soldiers Bush sent to war — then republicans can complain about how democrats spend too much and support bigger government. Like the Iraq war, returning vets are another problem Bush didn’t plan for, won’t take responsibility for, and will leave for a future president to clean up.

So passing a new GI bill is sure to be a long, drawn-out, complicated ordeal that many politicians may not have the will or stomach to engage in this year. Meanwhile, there are over 200,000 homeless vets RIGHT NOW. As we speak. BOR’s “big announcement” will do nothing for these men and women until a new GI bill is passed. If that ever happens.

This is an unbelievably inefficient way to deal with the problem of vets who are homeless right now. BOR said he would help homeless vets, but all this looks like is a stalling technique so BOR can save face and claim that he’s doing something when he isn’t. If he really wanted to help homeless vets, why wouldn’t he throw his support behind the Homes for Heroes Act of 2007, which was introduced by Barack Obama last April and is cosponsored by Senators Reid, Schumer, Menendez, Brown, and Cantwell? This bill is specifically designed to help low-income veterans obtain affordable housing to address the problem of homeless vets. You can learn more about it here. Or BOR could donate some of his alleged $9 million salary, or mobilize his viewers to donate money to groups that help homeless vets.

Instead of helping homeless vets by actually helping them, helping groups that help homeless vets, or supporting an existing bill designed specifically to help vets get affordable housing, BOR is going to monitor the creation of a monster GI bill overhaul that faces endless obstacles and whose benefits would not be felt for years. But I guess we’re supposed to be happy that BOR has finally/sort of stopped blaming vets for their homelessness and has finally/sort of realized that it is the system that is letting down veterans. But instead of helping homeless vets, BOR has promised to hope that someone else might eventually help them.

So welcome to the party, BOR. You’re really late, but I suppose we’re supposed to be happy that you showed up at all. So have a seat and try not to sexually harass any of the guests. And I’ll get you your damn cookie.