Not your fault. Nortel did a number up in Canadaland.

oops -- sorry K-Klean.

Nortel? Do you hate me, Evers?

Thanks for thinking of me, Evilicious. I appreciate you trying to pimp out your handsome brother ... but that Laos thing is kinda a mood kill. Geography is such a bitch!

K-Klean -- the only thing we won't need is the WD-40. I'll even go over to Nortel and see if I can round up a hunky Canadian guy if you'd prefer.

Bucky! I was just in the kitchen thinking that you might like a cute single guy, too. You must have channeled that thought all the way up here.

No problem. You might like my handsome brother. Except he is moving to Laos. But he has friends. :)

Ummm, Eve? Asian food and cute single guys? I'm only a few hours away. Are you forgetting someone? As in me?

Evers- does he resemble any of my future husbands?
Ohter than that- do you have a dishwasher? Anything to clean carpets? Do I have to bring my Spotbot? I need the largest thing of bleach you can find, a gigantic thing of Mr. Clean antibacterial, a sponge mop with two spare heads, several scrubby sponges, a really good vacuum cleaner, baking soda, four toothbrushes, Draino, vinegar, several cloths. Do you have a glass cooktop, because then I need cooktop cleaner? Is your oven self cleaning? I also need WD-40 if you have any scuff marks on your floors and walls.
I could go on all day.
Fifteen bucks an hour. I think I mentioned that. Canadian, too. I don't want your undervalued currency anymore.

We're having Subway tonight, because I'm lazy sometimes. And I'm going to spend all evening cleaning my kitchen in between chatting with you people.

I love springs rolls. Not so fond of egg rolls. One job I had, I ate lots of egg rolls. I'm done with them. Forever.

No sweet and sour sauce. Fish sauce -- with carrots and lime and other stuff! One Vietnamese woman I know says to make the dipping sauce with fish sauce and sprite. Haven't tried it yet.

K-gal -- please to my house. You come here and do the OCD cleaning and I'll go to your house and take care of the kids. It's 75 degrees outside and I live in the midst of all kinds of Asian grocery stores and restaurants! Heck, I'll even throw in a cute single guy.

All this talk of spring rolls has given me a hankerin' for Chinese take out.

Not in my world. If I can't afford fresh, I don't buy it. So we don't eat a lot of crab.

Crab with a K? It's high quality stuff!

Probably that cheap ass crab flavored pollack they sell at grocery stores. Grossest thing ever.

I'm not sure if crab rangoon counts as seafood. Sometimes I don't think there's actually crab in it.

No Clancy, no sweet and sour on seafood. I do have limits.

I don't care, Buckdowner, I love the stuff.
They don't make Ginger Beef in China, either, and it's my favortiest thing to order at the Beijing Dragon down the road.

You don't use it with the crab rangoon too, do you? Cause that's just wrong.

Hate to tell you, K-Whitey, but the Asian peoples don't actually eat sweet-n-sour sauce. They laugh at us as they serve it.

And Clancy, I love washing windows so much, I'd do them for free. Just don't tell my cousin, who pays me fifteen bucks an hour to do her huge house.

It's gourmet fare. It's a delicacy. It's a rarity, only found out KPed's and Laffy's houses.

Sweet and sour sauce is the ketchup of the oriental world- completely valueless nutritionally, so yummy to eat.

No, no, ClancyPants, it's a fine, exotic, gourmet Chinese specialty condiment!

I don't get sweet & sour sauce. Why ruin such a beautiful thing like a spring roll with red corn syrup?

KPed, we have those all the time. LOVE sweet 'n' sour dippy sauce!

It is Spring again, Clancy, so just wait a few months before you get someone to clean the glass.

And stop pressing your nose against the window panes!

If you take that long to wash a window, I don't think I could afford your hourly rate. Damn. I really need to find someone to wash these things. I've still got pollen on the outside from last spring, and several of the interiors are covered in doggy nose prints.

Spring rolls. I can buy them by the dozen at the grocery store frozen, and make myself a nice little lunch. Always the veggie spring rolls, since meat does not belong in them, ever. A little sweet and sour sauce, and yummers.

( Spring rolls are the Vietnamese equivalent to egg rolls, without the egg part, if you didn't know that.)

Spring rolls?

I love doing windows. It soothes me. Never Windex, always water with vinegar, and it takes a good half an hour to do one window pane.

Anyone else figure out I'm a little bit OCD or anything?

I will not, however, wash dishes by hand. You must have a dishwasher. I cannot stand the feeling of wet food on my hands.

Do you do windows?

And the sponges were on sale.

I am completely OCD about my kitchen. It's actually scared the kids, seeing mommy all hunched over on the floor with a toothbrush cleaning the crevices in our linoleum floor ( that looks like tile).

Wow, you're going all hard core on this, aren't you?

I also bought about two dozen scrubby sponges, for as you know, they are step two in the process.
Plus a huge thing of Mr. Clean anti-bacterial.

mmmm, yum. Cadbury's.

It's only 3:15. I haven't even had lunch yet. I am, however, eating a very lovely Cadbury Mint Chocolate bar. That is not lunch. I'm waiting for the spring rolls to cool.

Attagirl. Now go pour yourself a glass of bleach. Er, wine.

A new mop head, and the largest thing of bleach I could find.

Nah. You're good. Did you buy a new mop?

So I'm not being punished for spending money and the desire that my children live?
Good. That's a deal breaker.

It only just started, KPed. You're right on time.

Why did I get left out of the Edwards crush-a-thon? Because I went grocery shopping so I wouldn't starve?

I know, Gotta. It's a sad state of affairs when I'm the mature one.

Really.

I wouldn't know anything about that sort of thing, Bucks.

I don't have a crush, Laffers. I have an infatuation. It's much more mature and serious.

Please don't use the word "tidbit" in the same sentence as "Edwards," Eve.

And I'm thinking that he would make a nice VP choice for Obama ... we need some pretty man candy in the campaign.

So do BuckBoard and I.

Tidbits about Edwards are good. I have a crush on him. And on Elizabeth.