Yesterday, my ob/gyn once again recommended that I attend therapy. But In my community, therapy is synonym to crazy; so it is very likely that I won‘t go. He thinks that I am depressed and I have to be really honest here and admit that he might be right. He made it a point to strongly tell me that my past doesn't define me as a person and I agree with him because I am so much more than a victim... but what he doesn't know is that my anxiety, loss of motivation, unexplained tiredness and sudden weight gain are all connected to the sad fact that I as an undocumented person amongst normal, accepted, oblivious citizens feel like shit. I feel like a liar, a thief, a fake, a poser and a criminal. I can't drive, so I have to rely on the moods and whims of those around me to get anywhere. I don‘t work so my life consists of watching the clock tick and attainable dreams pass me by.

I honestly don't complain much about anything. I have taken everything that has ever happened to me in stride and as being God's will. But I am so tired!