Our petition delivery to your offices and the resulting press it got (including #3 on Countdown that night) obviously got under your skin. Otherwise you wouldn't have had the story about it lead your show last Friday night. So we're back near the top of your enemies list, hopefully nestled in among George Soros, Media Matters, Twista, and falafel jokes.

So I'm assuming your interns will read this and summarize it for you, since I know you're not so fond of the internets. I know how much it scares you. I know how you don't like how it's been used to expose you as the fraud you are, so you try to convince your elderly audience that the internet is simply a den of liberal lies, pedophiles and porn. I know how much you must hate your audience to lie to them the way you do.   

That's the thing. I know a lot about you.

Like when I heard how your stalkerazzi "producer" Jesse Watters was badgering the vets at the petition delivery, asking them if they'd seen the clips of you saying that homeless veterans don't exist or if they were equally mad at Mark Cuban. When I heard that, I knew exactly what you would do. I even bet my friend dinner on it.

It's the same thing you did when Chris Dodd was on your show. He brought up the fact that you said that San Francisco deserves to be bombed by terrorists. Instead of acknowledging that you had indeed said that, you challenged him to tell you when and where he said it. When Dodd got the when right but not the where (your radio show, not your TV show), you lunged, saying that Dodd was wrong and didn't know what he was talking about. The important thing is YOU SAID SAN FRANCISCO SHOULD BE BOMBED BY TERRORISTS. The rest was a misdirect to convince the viewers you lie to so frequently.