| Posted about 7 hours ago by Onion News Network |
Interviews with Alzheimer's patients indicated that an overwhelming majority are, in fact, perfectly fine.
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| Posted about 7 hours ago by Onion News Network |
Interviews with Alzheimer's patients indicated that an overwhelming majority are, in fact, perfectly fine.
| Posted about 18 hours ago by Onion News Network |
Despite ethical concerns about testing on humans, researchers say their work was necessary to determine the boundary between garbage and food.
| Posted 6 days ago by Onion News Network |
Pausing only to eat, the West Highland white terrier yips and yelps 24 hours a day, according to neighbors.
| Posted 8 days ago by Onion News Network |
Both candidates are stepping up their efforts to attract crucial 'no values voters' by abusing animals and murdering the elderly.
| Posted 13 days ago by Onion News Network |
Before a new program to combat crystal meth can be put into place, Congress has to make sure it has a really awesome name.
| Posted 15 days ago by Onion News Network |
The threat of nuclear war hangs over the region with no end in sight, just as it has for the past three decades.
| Posted 19 days ago by Onion News Network |
President Bush will seek to comfort victims of his presidency as they try to make sense of the destruction he has caused.
| Posted 21 days ago by Onion News Network |
Unless Americans turn to alternative sources of entertainment, the 'Hannah Montana' star will soon be completely tapped out.
| Posted 27 days ago by Onion News Network |
Our morning show's political correspondent offers tips on how you can seem informed about politics without picking up a single newspaper.
| Posted 29 days ago by Onion News Network |
Despite arguments against capital punishment, the Justices overwhelmingly approved its use, especially if they get to participate in some executions.
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