More cringeworthy moments brought to you by Mike Huckabee. Shazam!

2008-01-12T20:45:08Z

Surpraaahse, surpraahse, surpraahse! ~~Gomer~~ Huckee's just too good to be true! He's the perfect mix of gen-u-ine Christian, bein' right neighborly, and endearingly, self-depracatingly, movingly authoratative. Mah, mah, mah and hooooo-ee! but he's the durndest swellest can-di-date ever.

“How you doing?” Mr. Huckabee said, smiling a toothy grin already labeled so Jim Nabors-like that their names appear in about 600 Google matches.

Dang if I haven't always thought we needed an inept simpleton who spoke with a twang in the White House. Oh wait. We already have one.

On the campaign trail, Mr. Huckabee is a polished performer who can be funny, endearingly self-deprecating and acute enough to move his audience to tears when he wants. With a voice that toggles between Tom Bodett’s comforting sound and Paul Harvey’s friendly authority, Mr. Huckabee speaks without notes and is never at a loss for a memorable phrase. (“We should put wingtips on the ground before we put the boots on the ground,” he says, describing how he would wage foreign policy. “We should be able to tell the Saudis we no more need their oil than we need their sand,” he says, describing his energy policy.)

One admirer said, "...He doesn’t have to be electrifying.” That's a relief. Otherwise, imagine all the cramming Huckee'd have to do for those How-to-Sparkle courses.

Did I mention how well-read he is? On top of all those other stellar qualities, if he's to be any kind of president, he'd simply have to be well-read. You know, like the current Mover-of-Lips-As-You-Read(er)-In-Chief.

“Who is your favorite author?” Aleya Deatsch, 7, of West Des Moines asked Mr. Huckabee in one of those posing-like-a-shopping-mall-Santa moments.
Mr. Huckabee paused, then said his favorite author was Dr. Seuss.
In an interview afterward with the news media, Aleya said she was somewhat surprised. She thought the candidate would be reading at a higher level.
“My favorite author is C. S. Lewis*,” she said.

Apparently, at the tender age of 7, she's already leaps and bounds ahead of never-at-a-loss Gomer.

*C.S. Lewis wrote The Chronicles of Narnia.

Jim Nabors at Brave New Films

More cringeworthy moments brought to you by Mike Huckabee. Shazam!