FOX Business Network promised to bring "fun" to investing when it launched back in October. But according to FBN's ratings, their idea of "fun" looks more like a game of solitaire.

According to early estimates by Nielsen Media Research, FBN averaged approximately 6,300 viewers a day in its first two months. A DAY! In contrast, Brave New Films had 15,000 total viewers during our live Iowa caucus coverage, and that's without the millions FBN spends for ads. In fact, FBN's numbers are so abysmally low that Nielson barely acknowledges them. From the NY Times:

While Nielsen, at the network’s request, has measured the viewership of Fox Business since its premiere, Nielsen is not permitted to release or even confirm those figures publicly. That is because they are so low as to fall below Nielsen’s minimum standards for reporting, said Gary Holmes, a Nielsen spokesman.

FBN and CNBC have both paid to receive FBN's weekly ratings reports, so you can probably guess who leaked those embarrassing numbers. So is this a case of a scrappy startup struggling to find its audience? Hardly. FBN isn't a startup as much as it is a sequel or a spinoff, with FOX "star" Neil Cavuto playing the role of post-"Friends" Joey Tribbiani. And it's not like FBN emerged in obscurity:

Few new channels have been able to draw on the vast promotional resources that are at the disposal of Fox Business, which is part of the News Corporation, Rupert Murdoch’s $70 billion global media empire. (CNBC is a unit of NBC Universal, which is a part of General Electric.)

In an advertising campaign that has sprawled across television screens, billboards and magazine pages, the News Corporation has sought to hitch the fortunes of Fox Business directly to Fox News Channel, which draws millions of viewers a day.

FBN's ratings are about 2% of what CNBC receives, though CNBC is shown in three times more homes than FBN. But my feeling is that FBN's feeble numbers have more to do with concept than startup pains.

FBN's goal is to bring "fun" and partisan politics to business news. But even FOX viewers are apparently smart enough to realize that dollars don't have a D or an R next to them, and if you've been following the state of the US economy under the Bush administration, "fun" is the last word to come to mind.

Thanks to Bush's economic "policies", which brought us the credit crunch, the sub-prime debacle, stagnating wages, corporate scandal, lax regulation, Middle East instability and record oil prices, the stock market is experiencing ridiculous volatility. With the prices of college, health care, and fuel skyrocketing, combined with the disappearance of most corporate pension programs, this is no time for "fun" with your money. With the safety nets of bankruptcy and social security either going or gone, and any number of countries capable of crippling the US by dumping their dollars, now is the time to be deathly, deathly serious when it comes to your finances.

Imagine you're trying to make sure your kids can go to college and you can retire without having to pick recyclables out of garbage cans, and with safety nets gone or weakened, you feel like you only have one chance to get this right. Investors know how much is riding on their investments.

In light of that, do you want to see stories about New York's Naked Cowboy and how playing the guitar in your underwear is a sound business plan? Do you want to make investment decisions based on advice from psychics? Do you want to be told by cute, breezy talking heads that everything is fine when reality and your dwindling portfolio tells you it isn't? Do you want to bet your future on the preposterous notion that every republican economic policy is good for the average investor?

For most families, now is not the time for irrational exuberance. You shouldn't be looking for silver linings when the storm clouds are black and you should be heading for higher ground. Now is the time to take a cold hard look at your finances and figure out how on earth you and your family are going to get through all this. I'd rather be bummed out by the truth than be happy about lies.

What happens to a channel aiming to bring "fun" to investing when your investment choices couldn't be more serious? About 6,300 viewers a day.