skit at Brave New Filmshttp://bravenewfilms.org/topics/skit2008-11-29T06:42:30Zskit script - War on Terrorhttp://bravenewfilms.org/blog/64225-skit-script-war-on-terror2008-11-29T06:42:30ZMyshkin
<div class="post_content">
<p><p>This is a script for a skit I wrote a while back, after reading some of the rubbish on the respective rights of US Marines and their victims. If anyone wants to make a short film of it and publish it, feel free.</p><p> </p><p>The Anti-Terrorist US Marine and the Sacred Art and Inalienable Right of Self-Defense<br /><br />SCENE ONE<br /><br />INT: INSIDE AN IRAQ CITY HOUSE<br /><br />U.S. Marine inside, together with other Marines, and a bound, blindfolded, and <br />gagged prisoner sitting in one corner. The Marine talks into a radio set.<br /><br /> MARINE<br /><br />Yessirree, we got ourselves a Hajji here, terrorist suspect. What do we do with him?<br /><br /> RADIO<br /> (crackles noisily)<br /><br />Scene fades as Marine picks up assualt rifle, goes towards prisoner.<br /><br /> MARINE<br /><br />It's your lucky day, Hajji. Count to ten after me?<br /><br />Scene fades to the accompaniment of shots.<br /><br />Fade to lawyer being interviewed.<br /><br />INT: INSIDE LAW FIRM OFFICES<br /><br /> LAWYER<br /><br />Yes, it's a pretty standard case of acting in self-defense. We expect he will be exonerated.<br /><br />SCENE TWO<br /><br />INT: INSIDE STANDARD US MILITARY HOUSE<br /><br />U.S. Marine at home, still in uniform, arguing with wife and nine-year-old son; shouting.<br /><br /> MARINE<br /><br />And you'll do as I say, sonny, not as you think!<br /><br /> WIFE (wearily)<br /><br />Oh forgodsake, Hank, talk sense to the boy.<br /><br /> MARINE (standing, shouting)<br /><br />You shut up.<br /><br />(backhands her. She screams)<br /><br />And you, sonny boy, you listen when I speak, you hear!<br /><br />Fades as marine throws punches at wife, son runs off. We hear shots fired, and a scream of terror.<br /><br />Fade to morgue.<br /><br />INT: INSIDE MORGUE<br /><br />Morgue attendant lays sheet over face of dead son, fades to lawyer standing at the foot of the bed, tag visible on boy's toe.<br /><br /> LAWYER<br /><br />You would not believe it, would you? Here in America, and a terrorist. Somehow they got to him, so young.<br /><br />(Muses)<br /><br />It's a clear cut case of self-defense, though. We expect he will be exonerated.<br /><br /><br />SCENE THREE<br /><br />INT: INSIDE LAW FIRM OFFICES<br /><br />U.S. Marine inside law firm office, arguing with receptionist. (He points to decorations on his shoulders)<br /><br /> MARINE<br /><br />And I will not put up any more with crap from you and your sort! I got these defending your sort over there and this is the way you treat me?<br /><br />He pulls out uzi, goes postal, then throws grenades. Explosions, screams, walls falling in.<br /><br />Fade to interviewer and lawyer inside lawyer's own office. Plaster falls, and the windows shatter. Interviewer covered in glass and bleeding from many cuts; lawyer covered in plaster.<br /><br /> INTERVIEWER<br /><br />We are calling from the law office of<br /><br />(noise of explosions obscures name)<br /><br />So, what is your take on this case, on this Marine going postal inside your own law office?<br /><br /> LAWYER<br /><br />You'll find it's covered in the Military Regulations. A Marine involved in counter-insurgency and anti-terrorism is always on duty. Consequently, anything he does is by definition, done in self-defense.<br /><br /> INTERVIEWER (on cell-phone)<br /><br />Excuse me for a sec ... hello? Oh ...<br /><br />(turns to lawyer. He is shocked.)<br /><br />Your wife has just been taken from here to the morgue. She took the first round he fired. I'm so sorry.<br /><br /> LAWYER (in shock)<br /><br />Omigod!<br /><br />(pause)<br /><br />You live with someone for thirty years and you think you know them, and then she turns out to be a terrorist! My own wife! A terrorist!<br /><br />(glares at interviewer.)<br /><br />And you're just an anti-American terrorist sympathiser, aren't you?<br /><br />THE END<br /><br />Fade to desert scene.<br /><br />EXT: DESERT HOUSE.<br /><br />A couple of Arabs looking at video camera. Another one steps up to face it. He is in full desert clothing.<br /><br /> ANON ARAB<br /><br />All ready, mullah.<br /><br /> MULLAH<br /><br />We do not wish to be enemies, Americans. And that is why we have taken on the task you in your wealth, were too weak to consider. We fight the terrorists - al Pentagon fi Iraq - here<br /><br />(waves his arm around to indicate the land, beautiful in its austere way as deserts usually are)<br /><br />so you will not have to fight them over there.<br /><br />THE REAL END<br /><br /> </p></p>
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Tina Fey PWNs John McCain as Sarah Palin on Saturday Night Live?http://bravenewfilms.org/blog/60896-tina-fey-pwns-john-mccain-as-sarah-palin-on-saturday-night-live2008-11-03T00:55:11ZLiberalViewer
<object width="375" height="308"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/XPWBY-zmnKk&border=0&rel=0"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/XPWBY-zmnKk&border=0&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="375" height="308"></embed></object>
<a href="/blog/60896-tina-fey-pwns-john-mccain-as-sarah-palin-on-saturday-night-live"><img src="http://bravenewfilms.org/pictures/medium/75328" width="140" height="105" border="0" align="left" style="border: solid 1px black;" /></a>
<div class="post_content">
<p>When John McCain appeared in the opening segment of Saturday Night Live last night with Tina Fey reprising her SNL role as Sarah Palin, I thought McCain ended up looking weak, ridiculous, and worst of all, like a loser as I show with the clips in this video.</p>
<p>You can see the entire November 1, 2008, Saturday Night Live skit from which I took a few short clips for my video on the NBC website at <a href="http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/mccain-qvc-open/805381/">www.nbc.com</a> </p>
</div>
<a href="/blog/60896-tina-fey-pwns-john-mccain-as-sarah-palin-on-saturday-night-live">Watch the video</a>
Case Closed: Vol. 12 - Devil's Advocatehttp://bravenewfilms.org/blog/45708-case-closed-vol-12-devil-s-advocate2008-12-02T22:29:40Zjasonberlin
<object width="375" height="308"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/WKZXkmn-KWQ&border=0&rel=0"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/WKZXkmn-KWQ&border=0&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="375" height="308"></embed></object>
<a href="/blog/45708-case-closed-vol-12-devil-s-advocate"><img src="http://bravenewfilms.org/pictures/medium/52963" width="140" height="105" border="0" align="left" style="border: solid 1px black;" /></a>
<div class="post_content">
<p>A guilty conscience needs no accuser! However, an innocent conscience needs one.</p>
</div>
<a href="/blog/45708-case-closed-vol-12-devil-s-advocate">Watch the video</a>
Case Closed: Vol. 11 - The Doody Defensehttp://bravenewfilms.org/blog/45023-case-closed-vol-11-the-doody-defense2008-12-02T22:29:40Zjasonberlin
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<a href="/blog/45023-case-closed-vol-11-the-doody-defense"><img src="http://bravenewfilms.org/pictures/medium/51526" width="140" height="105" border="0" align="left" style="border: solid 1px black;" /></a>
<div class="post_content">
<p>One hot witness. One clever lawyer. Twenty seconds of gut-rippling suspense.
<br />( find more episodes at www.jasonberlin.com )</p>
</div>
<a href="/blog/45023-case-closed-vol-11-the-doody-defense">Watch the video</a>
Case Closed: Vol. 10 - Tie Goes to the Lawyerhttp://bravenewfilms.org/blog/44056-case-closed-vol-10-tie-goes-to-the-lawyer2008-12-02T22:29:40Zjasonberlin
<object width="375" height="308"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/XYxF-bG11IY&border=0&rel=0"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/XYxF-bG11IY&border=0&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="375" height="308"></embed></object>
<a href="/blog/44056-case-closed-vol-10-tie-goes-to-the-lawyer"><img src="http://bravenewfilms.org/pictures/medium/50400" width="140" height="105" border="0" align="left" style="border: solid 1px black;" /></a>
<div class="post_content">
<p>When the stunning Sunni Peterson is asked a devilish question, will the response of the resplendent defendant be transcendant?</p>
</div>
<a href="/blog/44056-case-closed-vol-10-tie-goes-to-the-lawyer">Watch the video</a>
Case Closed: Vol. 9 - Unorthodox Proctologisthttp://bravenewfilms.org/blog/42941-case-closed-vol-9-unorthodox-proctologist2008-12-02T22:29:40Zjasonberlin
<object width="375" height="308"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/MB8shPkOgBI&border=0&rel=0"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/MB8shPkOgBI&border=0&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="375" height="308"></embed></object>
<a href="/blog/42941-case-closed-vol-9-unorthodox-proctologist"><img src="http://bravenewfilms.org/pictures/medium/48490" width="140" height="105" border="0" align="left" style="border: solid 1px black;" /></a>
<div class="post_content">
<p>When a beautiful anusologist reveals a strange habit, will she pay the ultimate price?</p>
</div>
<a href="/blog/42941-case-closed-vol-9-unorthodox-proctologist">Watch the video</a>
Case Closed: Vol. 8 - Don Rickleshttp://bravenewfilms.org/blog/42051-case-closed-vol-8-don-rickles2008-12-02T22:29:40Zjasonberlin
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<a href="/blog/42051-case-closed-vol-8-don-rickles"><img src="http://bravenewfilms.org/pictures/medium/47453" width="140" height="105" border="0" align="left" style="border: solid 1px black;" /></a>
<div class="post_content">
<p>It's a deadly game of "Cat And Mouse" as Sunni Peterson takes the stand to defend herself against an ironclad closing argument!</p>
</div>
<a href="/blog/42051-case-closed-vol-8-don-rickles">Watch the video</a>
Case Closed: Vol. 7 - Cuppable Nippleshttp://bravenewfilms.org/blog/41446-case-closed-vol-7-cuppable-nipples2008-12-02T22:29:40Zjasonberlin
<object width="375" height="308"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/fSosIfV5qRs&border=0&rel=0"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/fSosIfV5qRs&border=0&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="375" height="308"></embed></object>
<a href="/blog/41446-case-closed-vol-7-cuppable-nipples"><img src="http://bravenewfilms.org/pictures/medium/46728" width="140" height="105" border="0" align="left" style="border: solid 1px black;" /></a>
<div class="post_content">
<p>A shrewd lawyer puts his own nipples on the line in the name of justice. (Sketch comedy from jasonberlin.com)</p>
</div>
<a href="/blog/41446-case-closed-vol-7-cuppable-nipples">Watch the video</a>
Me llamo el Solhttp://bravenewfilms.org/blog/40886-me-llamo-el-sol2008-12-02T22:29:40Zjasonberlin
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<a href="/blog/40886-me-llamo-el-sol"><img src="http://bravenewfilms.org/pictures/medium/46105" width="140" height="105" border="0" align="left" style="border: solid 1px black;" /></a>
<div class="post_content">
<p>An educational film about the sun, narrated by the sun, about the the extreme dangers of the sun and its good friend Grandma Betty. (Sketch comedy by the Ministry of Unknown Science: Jason Berlin, Rico Gagliano, Eric Trueheart and Tim Walker.)</p>
</div>
<a href="/blog/40886-me-llamo-el-sol">Watch the video</a>
Home Movie - Episode 1http://bravenewfilms.org/blog/40625-home-movie-episode-12008-12-02T22:29:43Zjasonberlin
<object width="375" height="308"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/u5JKpUwHe8U&border=0&rel=0"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/u5JKpUwHe8U&border=0&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="375" height="308"></embed></object>
<a href="/blog/40625-home-movie-episode-1"><img src="http://bravenewfilms.org/pictures/medium/45820" width="140" height="105" border="0" align="left" style="border: solid 1px black;" /></a>
<div class="post_content">
<p>Things are never what they seem in this action-packed family vacation that time forgot. And find even more of what you need at jasonberlin.com!</p>
</div>
<a href="/blog/40625-home-movie-episode-1">Watch the video</a>
Sunshine Horsley - Hippie Doctor, M.D.http://bravenewfilms.org/blog/40624-sunshine-horsley-hippie-doctor-m-d2008-12-02T22:29:43Zjasonberlin
<object width="375" height="308"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Svd4PFwO8fs&border=0&rel=0"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Svd4PFwO8fs&border=0&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="375" height="308"></embed></object>
<a href="/blog/40624-sunshine-horsley-hippie-doctor-m-d"><img src="http://bravenewfilms.org/pictures/medium/45819" width="140" height="105" border="0" align="left" style="border: solid 1px black;" /></a>
<div class="post_content">
<p>Before there was HOUSE, there was SUNSHINE HORSLEY, Hippie Doctor, M.D. By the Ministry of Unknown Science (tmous.com).</p>
</div>
<a href="/blog/40624-sunshine-horsley-hippie-doctor-m-d">Watch the video</a>
Kung Fu F*** Youhttp://bravenewfilms.org/blog/40623-kung-fu-f-you2008-12-02T22:29:43Zjasonberlin
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<a href="/blog/40623-kung-fu-f-you"><img src="http://bravenewfilms.org/pictures/medium/45818" width="140" height="105" border="0" align="left" style="border: solid 1px black;" /></a>
<div class="post_content">
<p>Three martial artists unleash their "dancing finger style" in a bird-flipping battle royale. By the Ministry of Unknown Science (tmous.com). Featuring Rico Gagliano, Eric Trueheart, & Jason Berlin.</p>
</div>
<a href="/blog/40623-kung-fu-f-you">Watch the video</a>
Feed the Fat - A Public Service Announcementhttp://bravenewfilms.org/blog/40622-feed-the-fat-a-public-service-announcement2008-12-02T22:29:43Zjasonberlin
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<a href="/blog/40622-feed-the-fat-a-public-service-announcement"><img src="http://bravenewfilms.org/pictures/medium/45817" width="140" height="105" border="0" align="left" style="border: solid 1px black;" /></a>
<div class="post_content">
<p>Everyone knows: Americans need to take care of America's problems first before they go fixing the world.</p>
</div>
<a href="/blog/40622-feed-the-fat-a-public-service-announcement">Watch the video</a>
Mane Manhttp://bravenewfilms.org/blog/40621-mane-man2008-12-02T22:29:43Zjasonberlin
<object width="375" height="308"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/dZeICm7YBPs&border=0&rel=0"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/dZeICm7YBPs&border=0&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="375" height="308"></embed></object>
<a href="/blog/40621-mane-man"><img src="http://bravenewfilms.org/pictures/medium/45816" width="140" height="105" border="0" align="left" style="border: solid 1px black;" /></a>
<div class="post_content">
<p>Because a man without hair is a blister on the heart of God.
<br />(By the Ministry of Unknown Science. Featuring Colin Doty, Tano Sokolow, Rico Gagliano, Eric Trueheart and Jason Berlin.)</p>
</div>
<a href="/blog/40621-mane-man">Watch the video</a>
Von Cobulihttp://bravenewfilms.org/blog/40620-von-cobuli2008-12-02T22:29:43Zjasonberlin
<object width="375" height="308"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/EsgQHaRvDAA&border=0&rel=0"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/EsgQHaRvDAA&border=0&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="375" height="308"></embed></object>
<a href="/blog/40620-von-cobuli"><img src="http://bravenewfilms.org/pictures/medium/45815" width="140" height="105" border="0" align="left" style="border: solid 1px black;" /></a>
<div class="post_content">
<p>Interview with the vampire. No, not that vampire. (By the Ministry of Unknown Science. Featuring Rico Gagliano, Tim Walker & Eric Trueheart.)</p>
</div>
<a href="/blog/40620-von-cobuli">Watch the video</a>
Personal Relationship with Jesushttp://bravenewfilms.org/blog/40619-personal-relationship-with-jesus2008-12-02T22:29:43Zjasonberlin
<object width="375" height="308"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/YicrzXq16JE&border=0&rel=0"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/YicrzXq16JE&border=0&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="375" height="308"></embed></object>
<a href="/blog/40619-personal-relationship-with-jesus"><img src="http://bravenewfilms.org/pictures/medium/45814" width="140" height="105" border="0" align="left" style="border: solid 1px black;" /></a>
<div class="post_content">
<p>Is it possible to get a little *too* close to the Lord? Ask his roomate. (A Sketch by the Ministry of Unknown Science. Featuring Rico Gagliano, Jason Berlin and Tim Walker)</p>
</div>
<a href="/blog/40619-personal-relationship-with-jesus">Watch the video</a>
Boys & Girls: No Differencehttp://bravenewfilms.org/blog/40618-boys-girls-no-difference2008-12-02T22:29:42Zjasonberlin
<object width="375" height="308"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/wiEsRT9HozM&border=0&rel=0"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/wiEsRT9HozM&border=0&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="375" height="308"></embed></object>
<a href="/blog/40618-boys-girls-no-difference"><img src="http://bravenewfilms.org/pictures/medium/45813" width="140" height="105" border="0" align="left" style="border: solid 1px black;" /></a>
<div class="post_content">
<p>A startling modern-day revelation about the fact that boys equal girls! (A sketch by the Ministry of Unknown Science. Featuring Tim Walker as the Host.)</p>
</div>
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COLOR BARS!http://bravenewfilms.org/blog/40617-color-bars2008-12-02T22:29:42Zjasonberlin
<object width="375" height="308"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/EuMQcW0dJ-E&border=0&rel=0"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/EuMQcW0dJ-E&border=0&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="375" height="308"></embed></object>
<a href="/blog/40617-color-bars"><img src="http://bravenewfilms.org/pictures/medium/45812" width="140" height="105" border="0" align="left" style="border: solid 1px black;" /></a>
<div class="post_content">
<p>Sneak Preview of the new Fall TV lineup... (A Sketch by the Ministry of Unknown Science: Jason Berlin, Rico Gagliano, Eric Trueheart and Tim Walker. VO by Tano Sokolow.)</p>
</div>
<a href="/blog/40617-color-bars">Watch the video</a>
Detective Elephant Manhttp://bravenewfilms.org/blog/40616-detective-elephant-man2008-12-02T22:29:42Zjasonberlin
<object width="375" height="308"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/2hE1WnaQlAk&border=0&rel=0"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/2hE1WnaQlAk&border=0&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="375" height="308"></embed></object>
<a href="/blog/40616-detective-elephant-man"><img src="http://bravenewfilms.org/pictures/medium/45811" width="140" height="105" border="0" align="left" style="border: solid 1px black;" /></a>
<div class="post_content">
<p>Just because you're horribly deformed doesn't mean you're not an idiot. (A Sketch by The Ministry of Unknown Science. Featuring Rico Gagliano, Tim Walker, Jason Berlin and Eric Trueheart.)</p>
</div>
<a href="/blog/40616-detective-elephant-man">Watch the video</a>
Case Closedhttp://bravenewfilms.org/blog/40615-case-closed2008-12-02T22:29:42Zjasonberlin
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<a href="/blog/40615-case-closed"><img src="http://bravenewfilms.org/pictures/medium/45810" width="140" height="105" border="0" align="left" style="border: solid 1px black;" /></a>
<div class="post_content">
<p>In the outrageous climax of this thrilling courtroom drama, a gorgeous witness takes the stand against the toughest lawyer in the land.</p>
</div>
<a href="/blog/40615-case-closed">Watch the video</a>
Case Closed: Vol. 2 - Bon Jovihttp://bravenewfilms.org/blog/40613-case-closed-vol-2-bon-jovi2008-12-02T22:29:42Zjasonberlin
<object width="375" height="308"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/piihYZym98c&border=0&rel=0"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/piihYZym98c&border=0&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="375" height="308"></embed></object>
<a href="/blog/40613-case-closed-vol-2-bon-jovi"><img src="http://bravenewfilms.org/pictures/medium/45808" width="140" height="105" border="0" align="left" style="border: solid 1px black;" /></a>
<div class="post_content">
<p>It's a landmark case - The United States Vs. Bon Jovi - and Sunni Peterson is the star witness!
<br />http://www.jasonberlin.com</p>
</div>
<a href="/blog/40613-case-closed-vol-2-bon-jovi">Watch the video</a>
GUD - The Better Godhttp://bravenewfilms.org/blog/40612-gud-the-better-god2008-12-02T22:29:42Zjasonberlin
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<a href="/blog/40612-gud-the-better-god"><img src="http://bravenewfilms.org/pictures/medium/45807" width="140" height="105" border="0" align="left" style="border: solid 1px black;" /></a>
<div class="post_content">
<p>Your God sucks. Do something about it. (A sketch by The Ministry of Unknown Science: Jason Berlin, Rico Gagliano, Eric Trueheart and Tim Walker.) - Find more at <a href="http://www.jasonberlin.com">www.jasonberlin.com</a> -</p>
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Case Closed: Vol. 3 - Contempthttp://bravenewfilms.org/blog/40611-case-closed-vol-3-contempt2008-12-02T22:29:42Zjasonberlin
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<a href="/blog/40611-case-closed-vol-3-contempt"><img src="http://bravenewfilms.org/pictures/medium/45806" width="140" height="105" border="0" align="left" style="border: solid 1px black;" /></a>
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<p>The incorrigible Sunni Peterson has yet another run-in with the law.
<br />http://www.jasonberlin.com</p>
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Case Closed: Vol. 4 - Cop Killerhttp://bravenewfilms.org/blog/40609-case-closed-vol-4-cop-killer2008-12-02T22:29:42Zjasonberlin
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<a href="/blog/40609-case-closed-vol-4-cop-killer"><img src="http://bravenewfilms.org/pictures/medium/45804" width="140" height="105" border="0" align="left" style="border: solid 1px black;" /></a>
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<p>It's the trial of the century! Will Sunni Peterson buckle under a white-hot cross-examination?</p>
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Hirschfeld - The Prankingest Rabbihttp://bravenewfilms.org/blog/40608-hirschfeld-the-prankingest-rabbi2008-12-02T22:29:41Zjasonberlin
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<p>That Wascally Wabbi!</p>
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